Why “The Death Of Catholicism”…

This is an excerpt from my first post, which explains the title of the blog (which certainly needs explaining). Hope this clears it up.

The death of Catholicism is both final and ongoing. In the final sense, Catholicism says that after our bodies stop functioning, there is the possibility of eternal life if we choose it. But in the ongoing sense, the Church was telling me that truly experiencing this life meant I had to die to myself daily. It meant that I had to stop feeding the flames of my lust, that I had to stop giving my body whatever food and drink it demanded at any given moment, that I had to spend my time doing things that were decidedly inconvenient for me. It meant that I had to let go of everything that I liked. It meant that I had to let all my desires and pleasures and plans die.

That sucks.

But what kept me from running from this death was the promise of what came next. Death did not really become less scary to me after learning what the Church had to say; actually, it became even scarier since it became more immediate. But what I found was that rising up in my chest was a feeling, a knowledge, stronger than my fear. Somewhere inside of me, in the deep places where the fear lived, was a wellspring of hope. As I read the Catholic story, as I learned about the Easter Sunday that followed Good Friday, as I learned that those same desires that must die would be given back to me, raised to life in more beauty and splendor than ever before, I found that my fear mattered a lot less. I must die, yes; but this I would die for.

I found that Christ does not take away death: He simply shows us that it is not the end. I found that Christ doesn’t stop our suffering from happening: He just gives it meaning. I found that Christ would not make fear impossible: but He would be the light of hope to cast out its darkness, if only we let Him.

So this is the “Death of Catholicism”. This is my feeble record of all the little deaths that have enriched my life, all of the small pains of sacrifice that have borne the pleasures of my days, all of the crucifixions of my many vices that have led to the resurrection of my few virtues. The whole story of humanity is the story of the quest for eternal life. The whole story of Catholicism is how that life was found through One Death. My whole story is about the little deaths that give me assurance of the life to come. If you read this, I ask you: Die with me. Die for Him. Die, and find life waiting beyond the fear.

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